I am in Blr. I met a few friends from 25 years ago.

At my age everyone is experiencing their kids futures unfold. Many of my friends have their young ones now off to university. My friends who themselves are extremely accomplished are naturally seeing their own children pursue greater heights.

After the customary exchanges on careers and children, the enquiry often turns to my pursuit of meditation for the last 17 years, which is no secret to anyone. And so as usual someone asked me yesterday what has happened to me since I undertook meditation. And I had some practical answers about health and wellness. I felt dissatisfied with my answers.

I realise there are people seemingly healthy and well even without meditation, seemingly happy and joyful even without meditation. I realise answering the question of what meditation does to you or what it is is totally futile.

Usually when I don’t know the answer to something I am prone to feeling frustrated. But here there is no frustration. It’s a wonder. After 17 years of meditating, I know that I don’t know what meditation is.

I came across this beautiful video by Gurudev which talks about going beyond the senses and beyond the elements to something that is so subtle, even subtler than the mind, subtler than the intellect, subtler than the memory and subtler than the ego. To experience that subtlety practically as a feeling is meditation. And being unable to explain that is a beautiful “I don’t know”! Am at peace knowing I have no idea what meditation has done to me and yet be in love with it.